I’d eat you if you weren’t made of plastic.

Wheee! New playmate! Aw, whaddya mean we only get to visit her once a week??

… Then — high school it might have been — when, as the youngest of seven and with everyone else out of the house and me ensconced in the position of Cookie Theme Designator, I declared it British History Season and went over-the-top, hog wild with everything from images of Queen Elizabeth, Henry V, Henry VIII and Richard III, to characters from the Bayeux tapestry. …

(Since we, the notoriously last minute, broke our record for tardiness during Dine & Dish #3 and posted a full two weeks late, for Dine & Dish #4 we offer up this Three Act Drama as an apology, and plead forgiveness for any past transgressions. As for our current transgressions, let us just say that we kid because we love. Honest, we do… Sorry, Rachael. We couldn’t help ourselves.)

Second, my female captor returns with a summer cold. The sniffles, of all things, and she claims that — what with work and all — she’s too tired to post! TOO TIRED TO POST?? I’ve got news for you, missy. In case you haven’t noticed, I’m seventeen years old. That’s a hundred and nineteen in captor years and here I am posting! Put that in your bowl and lick it, baby!