IMBB #19: I can’t believe we ate vegan!
Sam, our lovely host from Becks and Posh has presented us with quite a quandary for IMBB #19. Vegan, she tells us. Specifically, I Can’t Believe I Ate Vegan. As in, a meal suitable for trickery.
Ah, vegan. Where do we begin?
Granted, though Chopper and I have, on occasion, accidentally eaten vegan, it’s just not something we would want to do on a regular basis. We like edible animals far too much. And no honey? What’s up with that?
Now, don’t get me wrong, we eat tofu and attend peace marches with the best of ‘em, and hell, I’ll even say thank you and mean it if someone calls me a socialist, but we are not about to say goodbye to fresh fish or eggs or bacon or … Augh! How do you vegans do it????
Ahem. Well.
Anyway, for this month’s all-vegan IMBB, since we have no one to trick into eating vegan but ourselves, we decided that the best route was to throw the stereotypes to the wind, scream a big NO THANK YOU to sprouts, and ask the question “what if vegan CEOs controlled the fast food industry?”
We think the results would be something like this:
Direct from Veganville USA:
Burger, fries and a shake!
All I did was find a set of nine grain hamburger buns, making sure to look at the ingredients and note the lack of animal products, then I gave them a nice golden brown toast. Then I took an average slab of tempeh and split it down its length. After that was done I coated the “patties” in olive oil, then rolled them in a combination of Chopper’s blackening spice and panko and immediately dropped them in 1/4 inch of Crisco and fried them to a nice, crispy brown. After that, I cut some extra firm tofu and blanched carrots into battonets (god I love French terms for classical cuts), rolled them in corn meal and fried them in the same Crisco until nice and crispy. For the shake I simply took a half a pint of soy ice cream and the same amount of rice milk, added 1/4 of a pound of frozen blueberries, pureed it up, and put it in a glass. And, there you have it: VEGAN FAST FOOD!
Now, I do have to insert the caveat that we didn’t check every single syllable ingredient against a strict vegan rule book, but we did our best at eliminating all obvious animal products. I mean, if Crisco is made from animals, that’s news to us.
Besides, the important thing is, this food tasted good. I mean GOOD good. As in wow, that was a great burger, and the shake rocked my world. (I said to Chopper after two sips: why the heck didn’t we figure this one out at the beginning of the summer?) The tofu fries were a little bland without ketchup, but hey, add some salt and look out Micky Ds!
So, anyone up for franchising?
Tagged with: IMBB # 19 + Vegan
September 26th, 2005 at 12:43 am
Nicely done. Just one question: can I get bacon on my burger?
September 26th, 2005 at 6:47 am
Everything does look good. Too bad I can’t get *that* at Burger King. Particularly the shake!
September 26th, 2005 at 9:41 am
This was quite impressive, and although I am far from a vegan eater normally, it does sound delicious.
September 26th, 2005 at 12:05 pm
pure genius. I think I would like this even more with my fries made from vegan potatoes.
September 26th, 2005 at 12:51 pm
Edible or not, the choice to do a Fast Food Vegan setup is absolutely stellar.
I’m still working on mine and I have tos say, I’m not doing well with it. Not for the obvious reasons, but just can’t bring it together. I’ve set out 3 times over the last 7 days to get my entry, no luck. I gots a few more days to make it go, must think.
Biggles
September 26th, 2005 at 5:20 pm
Thanks everyone!
kitchenmage: We actually looked for vegan bacon at the store but the stuff we found was over-priced and looked kinda creepy. I’m all for real bacon. In fact I should have snuck some in there after the photo!
Nic: the shake was fantastic, and since I’m lactose intolerant, I would love to find shakes like this all over the place!
Kalyn: Yeah, we rarely ever eat vegan, though we have actually cooked for vegan friends and relatives during parties and family events and I enjoy the challenge. One of these days I’ll post my vegan salad roll recipe. It’s mighty tasty.
Sam: You mean there are NON-vegan potatoes??
Biggles: thanks! We had a blast putting it together. Just don’t tell anyone that the burger is actually inside an old McNuggets box that I found in the car! Now, get back to work and get your entry done. I know you can pull it off with style!
September 26th, 2005 at 5:56 pm
wow, you are so brave to work that crisco action…my seams and arteries bulge at the very thought. love the square tempeh burger - since i recently grew a homemade batch i’m gonna have to try that one.
September 26th, 2005 at 9:26 pm
Oh, this looks and sounds so good; I’d really like that have more than a taste… I’d like a nice big bite and a big sip of the “milkshake!” Great job!
Paz
September 27th, 2005 at 12:48 am
Great Job!!
September 27th, 2005 at 7:41 am
Wow! What a great idea for this vegan meal challenge and I love your presentation! Great job!
And I bet it’s very tasty too! :)
September 28th, 2005 at 5:42 am
Agree with everyone that you had a fantastic idea, and love the writing of course. The milkshake especially is something I want to try!
September 28th, 2005 at 3:19 pm
fake bacon should be banished with my leftover wine… bleech! and i am glad you asked Sam about the vegan potatoes…like what other kind are there?
September 28th, 2005 at 6:11 pm
Thanks all!
As you’ve probably guessed, the Crisco is all Chopper’s doing. I’ve scheduled extra workouts. :-)
The shake… oh, yes, it was tasty. I’m telling you I am so all over this all next summer. Or, heck, any time of year. Frozen blueberries work just fine!
Hey kitchenmage, I feel a post coming on: The Graveyard of Bad Food, where we kill and bury food that should never have been invented.
September 29th, 2005 at 6:18 am
What a great idea. That’s one filling, guilt free fast food.But me like potato fries:).
September 29th, 2005 at 9:13 pm
Hey Indira — thanks! It was pretty darned tasty for guilt-free, but yeah, potatoes would have been tastier than tofu!
September 30th, 2005 at 10:19 pm
I would take that shake any time of the year. In fact, why don’t you drive down here sometime and I’ll make one for us. I have frozen blackberries and raspberries from this summer…
Really hilarious picture!
September 30th, 2005 at 10:32 pm
I’m game! Seriously, soon as we’re near the Seattle area, we’ll let you know and it’ll be Vegan Shake Time!
October 2nd, 2005 at 6:09 am
I dont know! I mean, if that is vegan food, I may have to convert! It just really looks delicious. And as always, super-duper creative. Thanks!
October 3rd, 2005 at 6:18 pm
Rachael: My advice — skip the fries, down a burger, and save room for two shakes! :-)
October 4th, 2005 at 12:17 pm
This looks fantastic. I’m a vegetarian and often have fake burger and fries night with my guy, but that just takes the slice of Mc.D’s processed apple pie. Nice work!