Paper Chef Lucky 13: Oooh, Fishy, fishy, fishy, fish…
I’m not sure what’s gotten into him, but Chopper’s been chomping at the Paper Chef bit extra hard for days. Usually, when the time grows nigh, he gets notions. “Whatever the ingredients are,” he says, days before they’re announced, “I’m gonna use _____.” And then he proceeds to name some exotic item in our pantry or our freezer that quite possibly won’t go with anything on the final Paper Chef ingredient list.
And so, on Friday afternoon, when we checked the list, it was no surprise that thoughts of the freezer item du jour fled out the window and instead we began the required pondering of item number four.
Ingredient 1: Rice
Ingredient 2: Carrots
Ingredient 3: Anchovies
Ingredient 4: Something from the other side of the world that helps make this dish a celebration for you.
Hmmm… Something from the other side of the world, we contemplate, conveniently forgetting the whole “celebration” bit because just finding something from the other side of the world around these parts can be quite the challenge.
Immediately, Chopper starts talking Asian food because, well, the ingredients rather scream Asian, but I interrupt and say, “hey, let’s figure out where exactly the other side of the world is. Who knows. It could be nowhere near Asia, geographically speaking.”
So, after several minutes of semi-fruitless longitude, latitude, and antipode googling, we pull out our trusty National Geographic Atlas of the World and do the math.
Ahah. Page 168, 48S, 57E give or take a few degrees, and there we are. In the middle of the Indian Ocean.
But wait! There’s land nearby! Maybe they’ve got a national cuisine!
Right. The nearest land to our antipode, as it happens, is a tiny little island called ÃŽle de l’Est, the (appropriately named) Eastern most member of the Crozet Islands.
Hey! They’re a French Colony — we can cook something French! Wait a sec. France still has colonies?
Well, an interesting thought, but probably not exactly what Owen, our illustrious Paper Chef host, had in mind. No, let’s check out the local flora and fauna… No trees, not much growing on the ground that looks edible… a few imported species that, for the most part, have vanished… Ah, here we go:
Whoa. Okay, okay, we’re not really going to cook penguin. They’re too cute and fluffy, and honestly where is one supposed to find penguin meat on this short notice?
(By the way when searching (unsuccessfully) for nearby penguin vendors, we happened upon a place in Seattle that sells kangaroo! Note for future reference…)
So then, no food from the antipode, sad to say.
We stare at the map a while longer.
“Well,” I offer, “it’s kinda close to Africa.”
(And no, we are not googling that scary place in the Midwest that sells lion meat.)
So, Chopper dives into a bit of quick spice research and comes up with tamarind, a tasty fruit native to tropical Africa. He jumps in the car, heads out to the store and… comes back empty-handed. Tamarind is not to be found on our island.
Back to the spice research.
Ahah! Fenugreek, indigenous to Northern Africa through the Mediterranean and into Asia, this herb is extremely common in African cuisine, so that could count, right? You know fenugreek was used by ancient Egyptians to embalm mummies? How cool is that?
Okay, that’s one… close to our antipode, though rather far to the north. So, we fudge a little.
Meanwhile, there’s that whole “celebration” thing we’ve forgotten about. We ponder a bit further, and unable to settle on a single ingredient number four, decide to celebrate the following cool, far-from-home items we’ve located on recent culinary expeditions, first to our local favorite shop The Gourmet’s Galley, and then to Uwajimaya in Seattle.
1) Szechwan peppercorns. I spotted a bag of these at Gourmet’s Galley a short while back and sent Chopper into paroxysms of joy. These babies aren’t easy to find. For a while, the FDA had a complete ban on their importation because they carried a citrus canker, but this past spring that ban was lifted after it was discovered that heating the peppercorns to 160F killed the canker bacteria. Now, they’re simply heated before importation. (And there was much rejoicing!)
2) From Uwajimaya, dried shitake mushrooms. Yeah, they’re not that hard to find — unless you live on an island, and then the come in tiny, “gourmet” packages that cost an arm and two kidneys. So, we got the nice big bag at Uwajimaya, and again, there was much rejoicing!
3) Last, because it’s on the list already, the piece de resistance for our festive dish: anchovies. Not anchovies in a tin, or anchovies in a jar, but dried anchovies from Japan. The ones that still look like cute little fishies, so much so that if you glued strings to them and hung them from the ceiling under a blue light you’d have quite a lovely little aquatic mobile (not to mention one hell of a great Christmas present for the cat). Yes, those anchovies, because there’s nothing that says Insane Belly Timber Paper Chef Entry quite like dried fish leaping out of shitake mushroom cap siu mai.
Special Siu Mai and Fried Shrimp in Chili Sauce
Flavoring paste (for both recipes)
- 1 large carrot, peeled and diced
- 8 anchovy fillets
- 2 teaspoon Szechwan peppercorns
- 1 tablespoon fenugreek
- 1/4 cup sesame oil
Toast spices and grind them with mortar and pestle or spice grinder.
Blanch carrot in boiling water until soft, then place all ingredients in a blender and puree.
Special Siu Mai
- 3/4 pound pork spare rib meat
- 6 whole water chestnuts, julienned
- 2 tablespoon flavoring paste (see above)
- 15 dried shitake mushroom caps
- 15 dried anchovies
Cut sparerib meat into cubes and place into a food processor. Pulse until finely chopped.
Place meat and flavoring paste in a mixing bowl and gently kneed together with your hands and then refrigerate for at least eight hours.
After meat mixture is chilled, soak mushroom caps in enough water to cover for 30 minutes.
Remove the mushroom caps from water and squeeze out excess.
Take meat mixture and mold it into small balls. Fill the mushroom caps with meat and place a dried anchovy in each as garnish. Steam for 20 to 25 minutes.
Serve with steamed rice.
Fried Shrimp in Chili Sauce
- 15 21/30 shrimp, peeled and deveined
- Flour, egg, and panko for breading
For the sauce
- 2 tablespoons peanut oil
- 3 tablespoons Chinese hot bean paste
- 2 tablespoons Flavoring Paste (see above)
- 1 tablespoon fish sauce
Bread and fry shrimp in vegetable oil until golden brown.
Remove from oil, drain and set aside.
In a wok, heat peanut oil until smoking.
Add hot bean paste and flavoring paste
When the aroma becomes thick and ingredients begin to smoke, add fish sauce.
Add shrimp and toss until the shrimp are thoroughly covered with the sauce.
Serve with steamed rice.
Serving suggestion: Furikake for an extra fishy kick.
(Okay, we admit, the rice isn’t so much in the dishes as under the dishes, but we’ll just plead “dim sum” as an excuse and suggest that one does not ever eat dim sum without copious amounts of steamed rice.)
Now, for this month’s Paper Chef, previous winner Noodle Cook (and yes this is, happily, all our fault!) has created categories! And there are prizes! (I now officially feel like a complete slacker.)
So, without further ado, here are Noodle’s categories and our self-nomination within each appropriate one.
Paper Chef Personality - creative, clever or witty writer. ::cough:: Um, penguin meat and fishie mobiles. Do you need to ask?
Paper Chef Super Saver - budget meals or crowd pleaser specialist. We’re probably not suited to this one because, frankly, I’m too lazy to do the math. I will say that the only items that cost more than a buck or two were the shrimp and the pork spare rib meat, and even all of that was pretty darned cheap. Hell, if dim sum’s not cheap, it’s not doing its job and should be sacked immediately.
Paper Chef Prestige - food styling, presentation or plating up expert. Styling? Hahahahahahahah. Sorry. Do leaping fishies count?
Paper Chef Nutrition Genie - magician for getting fussy diners to eat veggies, less salt, less fat. Usually, Chopper Dave and the phrase “eat veggies, less salt, less fat” do not belong in the same kitchen, but with Asian food he makes an exception. On the Chopper Health Scale, I’d give these dishes a solid 8.5.
Paper Chef Supreme - the champion for Paper Chef #13. Well, one would assume that if we’re here at all, we’re here for the big prize, eh?
So then, clear as mud.
But wait, there’s more! Didn’t Noodle say something about bonus points?
Oh crap! We forgot the festive atmosphere! Quick! Scramble for the camera and –didn’t Noodle Cook say something about — what was it — beer? Incense?
Ah, here we are:
Hey, don’t bogart that siu mai, man.
Miz D,
I also began with determining where the actual opposite side of the world from me was. Then my weekend fell apart and I didn’t get any cooking done.[sigh]
Ok, all three (or, I guess technically, 4) of us (Kevin, Ms D, C.Dave, me) started by wondering just where the other side of the world actually was. So literal, for cooking folk! We could have just done what MagicTofu did — assume it was China because that’s where everyone always said it was (actually, see his post..he had far better rationalizations! — I’d give a permalink but blogspot’s still kablooey so can’t extract it right now, but it’s at Slurp and Burp.)
Anyway, another beautiful, witty, over-the-top performance by the Belly-Timbers! I can only echo Kevin: [sigh]!
I’m impressed that you used an atlas and did the math!! And surprised that the host didn’t provide this link as reference for “the other side of the world”. I, too, end up in the Indian Ocean, but somewhat closer to Perth/Bunbury/Western Australia than to the “French Southern and Antarctic Lands” or “Heard Island and McDonald Islands”.
But with respect to the food, those little fishies (and yes, the witty writing!) made me laugh. You all are so creative!
Those fish! They made me smile.
I havent chortled so hard in a long time.
my nomination of you for funniest foodblog has surely been vindicated and then some.
those pictures take the biscuit!
You guys are all about exploiting the cute fuzzy animals! I’m at least happy that you did not cook the penguins. They sure are cute.
The fishes, on the other hand, well, not so much adorable as a tad bit frightening. They deserve to be eaten!
Thanks for making me laugh!
Those little fishies didn’t melt and fall over in the steamer? Too flippin’ funny. You and Chopper work too hard.
Pictures (yeah, Sam): Awesome.
“Wait a sec. France still has colonies?”
that is my favorite line.
okay, second favorite, because THIS is my favorite: “because there’s nothing that says Insane Belly Timber Paper Chef Entry quite like dried fish leaping out of shitake mushroom cap siu mai”
LOLLLL!
Go Belly Timber! You have my vote on this one. I love the little fishies leaping out of the mushrooms. I think they’re as adorable as the baby penguins, in their own way. I used to eat those dried anchovies every day when I lived in Taiwan, where they’re served with peanuts at every bar. So the picture with the can of Foster’s is perfect.
Hey Mrs. D and Chopper Dave - I love it! What a great use of those little fishies. Do you know that people actually munch on those things like potato chips in Japan? Sometimes they’re even coated with sugar.
Hey everyone! Thanks for the great comments!
Kevin — so sorry to hear you couldn’t join in. We barely scraped the time to do this, what with Chopper’s new weekend work schedule. I mean, he has to cook for other people on Saturdays and Sundays. The nerve!
Stephen — We all got pretty geeky with it, eh? Notice how Chopper and I ended up in China even so. :-)
Hey Tricia — I didn’t see that link before. Cool! (Clearly my google-fu was inferior to yours that day.) I tried it though and we ended up with a big sea of blue, so in the end the atlas worked best since we could actually view a page with important things on it like longitude lines and names of tiny little islands we didn’t know existed!
Thanks, Katy — it’s nice to see you here!
Hey Sam — aww, you’re too kind. ::blush::
Jennifer — exploiting cute, fuzzy animals? Us? Oh, wait… um… I hate to say this, but we have an upcoming post with sheep, and well… Sigh. Yeah, you’re right. At least I no longer have a pet rabbit.
Hey Cookiecrumb — I thought they’d fall over too, actually. We tested just one first and discovered all it did was get a little bendy. Kind of like a miniature catapult for, say, unwanted peas or something.
Hee! Thanks, Sarah! (Y’know, I should have remembered French colonies from my stamp collecting days, silly me. All those pretty stamps with tropical fruit on them. As for the Crozet islands — cute penguin stamps? No, just pictures of big pointy rocks that cause shipwrecks.
Hey Brett, thanks! I had no idea about those fishies being served in bars. That is seriously cool, not to mention much healthier than Chex Mix.
Hi Elise! With sugar? Wow. I can’t begin to imagine what that would taste like. (No, I don’t think I’m going to experiment and find out. Not today, anyway
Okay, the fact that you actually searched for penguin vendors is so funny (and a little disturbing - just kidding)! I love how you used the dried anchovy as a garnish for your siu mai and well, that last picture with the Foster’s is priceless.
Once again very impressive. I love the addition of the can of Fosters for the sake of festivity. There was once a time when several cans of Fosters would make me quite festive, but those days are long gone (sigh). Thanks for the birthday wishes. I must confess, these paper chef ingredients intimidate me completely. I am hoping sometime there will be a list I dare to tackle.
Love the anchovy garnish. My ambition is to eat a Koala.
Fosters - it’s Danish for foetus and Australian for piss.
Like the anchovies
Thou, silent form! dost tease us out of thought
As doth eternity: Cold Pastoral!
Lady X — we didn’t search very hard mind you. I should note, also, that the Foster’s wasn’t purchased for the meal, but was a happy accident: Chopper’s predilection toward beer in cans + lack of time to take the recycling to the dump = empty Foster’s cans lying about.
Kalyn, you do realize that one of these months we’re all going to drag you kicking and screaming into the fray?
Ed. Koala. You’re scaring me. And that’s not easy.
Anthony, yes, I’ve mentioned the piss comparison to Chopper, but no luck. Myself, I prefer beer with a bit of density to it.
Also, beauty is truth; truth beauty, but sometimes a fish is just a fish. :-)
Everyone had lots of laughs over the creative writing in this Paper Chef entry. The beer and incense (citronella to keep the mosquitos and flies away during summer) are very Australian! Although there was some dispute of the brand of beer ;) Thanks for making judging such a wonderful experience for all.
Thanks Noodle! We had a ton of fun doing this, and I have to say we’re still quite in shock over the win! Now as for the Fosters… well, in our defense I plead:
1) it was lying about so we didn’t actually purchase it for the occasion.
and
2) Our tiny town, sadly, only knows one Australian beer.
(Yeah, we shoulda sprung for a bottle of Shiraz…)
Very creative. I’d love to have seen somebody actually biting the head off one of the fish while eating your creation. I’d dare anyone to do it. Anyway, I can get them at a local Asian food store, so I might have fun making it and presenting them to some unsuspecting guests. See which of them is game enough!
from the jaws of death,