Weekend Cat Blogging: Angry Cat Vents!
My captors are toying with me again. First, we move from my island paradise to this tiny basement with but one window ledge for me to perch on and no outside access whatsoever, and then, adding insult to injury, they place an alien cat (a large and rather quarrelsome black and white creature) just beyond my reach to taunt me. I am in feline agony. And worse: I’ve no means to vent!
Yes, for the entire month of September, venting was, due to circumstances far beyond even my captors’ control, a lost cause. Why? Apparently someone in this overburdened flophouse of slackertude determined that they were the sole arbiter of internet access and — would you believe — HID THE MODEM when they weren’t using it for themselves.
Needless to say, my captors and I weren’t pleased. Oh, to be as blissfully ignorant as that silly furball. Ha. Just wait. Some day SHE’LL have literary aspirations, and they too will be squelched!
But I digress. You see, we’re no longer in that tiny purgatory of spiders and cement. We’re almost home! ALMOST.
Trouble is, my captors promised me a move toward better things. Toward a YARD again. Maybe even a CAT DOOR. Well, guess what? I’m still waiting.
And, where am I waiting? In yet another basement, only this one doesn’t even have a window ledge!
Oh sure, there’s carpet instead of cement, and I haven’t seen any spiders, but I ask you, is that supposed to make up for the SECOND EVIL CAT lurking outside the glass door, or the TWO ADDITIONAL DOGS in the house?
Be patient, they say. It’s just a week of house sitting they say, but I am cursed. Cursed!
Well, I’ll get them, I will. And meanwhile, I’ll laugh in the face of their daily traumas. Can’t find a tea kettle? The iron is broken? Allergic to one of the dogs? Oh, SUFFER. Next time, when you’ve got to dump the leftover gravy out of your one suitable pan so you can make a cup of evening tea, put some of it on my freakin’ cat food or I will walk all over your keyboard like I’ve never walked on it before.
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THERE. SEE HOW YOU LIKE IT. I’VE GOTTEN THE CAPSLOCK STUCK AND YOU’VE NO IDEA HOW TO UNDO IT, DO YOU?
BWAAHAAAHAAA!
OH, AND NEXT TIME YOU WANT TO WATCH ONE OF THOSE SILLY BRITISH SCIFI SHOWS, IT BETTER NOT BE AN EPISODE WHEREIN ALL THE CATS ARE VILLAINS. TRUST ME ON THIS. YOU REALLY DON’T WANT TO KNOW WHAT ELSE I’VE GOT PLANNED.
(Check out lots more Weekend Cat Blogging over at the House of (Mostly) Black Cats!)
September 30th, 2006 at 10:07 pm
Oh dear!! Should I contact the appropriate authorities? This is serious. I’m sure there must be some nice animal program on the telly that could come to your house and expose this terrible situation. Hang in there, I’m sure you will plot an excellent revenge!
September 30th, 2006 at 10:09 pm
LOL! Cats as villains? Nope, haven’t seen that on SciFi oh, say, last night. Not at all.
September 30th, 2006 at 10:24 pm
Boy, that’s one angry cat, but hilarious! “Walk on the keyboard like its never been walked on before.” HA!!
October 1st, 2006 at 8:44 am
Additional dogs?!?! Ack! I’d be venting too!
Purrrrs,
Sanjee
October 1st, 2006 at 12:06 pm
How dare those dogs enter your house? Give them a good swat for me.
Regarding WCB hosting, we have the following dates availible: Dec 9, Dec 16, Dec 30. Let me know at http://chefsarahjane.blogspot.com/ which weekend you woiuld prefer!
October 1st, 2006 at 11:04 pm
You are one seriously angry cat, and with good reason, I’d say. You just keep up that keyboard walking for the next week, and then I’m sure things will get better… if your captors know what’s good for them!
October 2nd, 2006 at 7:57 am
Those cats weren’t villains, they were just caught in a situation they weren’t equipped to deal with.
October 3rd, 2006 at 6:08 pm
when you decide you are talking to miz d again, would you please let her know she’s been tagged?
October 5th, 2006 at 8:53 am
Mrrrrwwwrrrghhh… I’m still venting.
See, humans, guess where I am now? In the house. I mean The House — the one we’ll be moving into in just a short while, but do I get to wander freely?
Nope. I’m stuck inside; trapped in a single room. Oh sure I’ve got plenty of food, water, a bed, a catbox, and my preciousss Catnip in a Bottle, but this indoor only thing has gone on quite long enough. When my captors return from their jaunt out of town, I’m demanding a cat door, toot sweet.
October 7th, 2006 at 3:45 pm
Poor Angry Cat! That sure isn’t a very interesting phaze you are going through… Anyway, you look so sweet!
I would like to let you know that, next week, the festivities will move to Switzerland as I will be hosting the WCB #71, so don’t forget to send me your permalinks via e-mail (grandchamp@gmx.ch) or to leave a detailed comment on my blog. See you next week, then!!!
October 7th, 2006 at 7:25 pm
Thanks, Rosa — we’ll be there! Now here’s crossing fingers I’ll be able to photograph poor Angry Cat in her own yard by then!