Yeah, you, 2006. You did your best, bucko, but you failed. We’re still here and we’re not giving up.
Challenge, eh? You wanna talk challenges? Like messing up our house? Sticking us with hideous bills? Making our move more hellish than a rancid vat of velveeta? And in the end, you have the gall to take away our cat and we’re supposed to say oh, thank you kind year, may I have another because we so love your idea of a challenge!

Well, we got news for ya, 2006. You’re gone. History. Outta here. And guess what? 2007 is so much cooler than you. You thought you’d make us all better with that tough love crap. Make ‘em suffer. Then they’ll rise to the occasion, you said. Right. Nice one. Working real well for that Bush clown too, isn’t it?

Well, I’ve got a secret for you: 2007 knows where it’s at. 2007 is on our side, letting us pick our own challenges, and trust me, those challenges aren’t going to be the sort that just keep us treading water, no sirree bob. We’re talking kick-ass, get ahead in life challenges – you know, the kind you never let us touch, you scum sucking P.O.S. year, you!

So, take a hike, 2006, cuz us and 2007, we got plans. Big plans. Hell, I’ll even spill the beans and tell you what the first plan is: 27 days from now, it’s Chopper’s birthday, and the next day — 28 days from now — we’re going to have this house transformed from tornado zone into cozy cottage, all ready for one colossal, long-overdue house rewarming party. Oh, sure it’s going to take a hell of a lot of work. We’ve got shelves to build, a kitchen to paint, dozens of boxes to unpack, and a list of repairs and missing items a mile long, but you know what? We’ve got 2007 on our side and we don’t even care if we’ve got a budget the size of a single app at French Laundry: we’re doing it anyway.

And in February, we’ll have a new challenge, and in March, one more, and on and on, until, at the end of glorious 2007, we’ll have kicked butt all over hell and back and turned you, scuzzy little inconsequential 2006, into a distant, fading memory.

Sounds good? Good. Now don’t let the door hit your sorry ass on the way out.

This entry was posted on Monday, January 1st, 2007 at 10:51 pm and is filed under metabelly. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.