(If my dad’s spirit is the heart of this blog, then Audrey, aka Angry Cat, aka Kitty Kaga, is Belly Timber’s snarky soul. Audrey died in December, following a brief but brutal illness, but it seems that even death hasn’t kept her completely quiet. Take this crazy rant that showed up on my screen this morning… –MizD)

Oh, you wee evil humans. Listen up.

A curious thing happened these past few months. Not long after I made my rather abrupt journey to the Happy Hunting Ground, my humans ran into a bit of misfortune. Not that my untimely demise wasn’t unfortunate. Hellish is more like it. I wasn’t even around to reap the benefits of that silly thieving newspaper’s forking out for my photo. What are they going to do? Ship catnip to the afterlife? Right.

(By the way, I have things to say to humans about the number of new arrivals around these parts. Things unfit for a family blog. And yes, my humans will never know for certain, but it is entirely possible that I too was a victim of this abomination. My food was on the list.)

So, here I am, off in the beyond (where there are plenty of fat, juicy mice with no toxic additives, thanks much), and what do I see? My humans aren’t posting! NO! This is my legacy, you freaky, pink-skinned good-for-nothing…puppies! Mrrooooar.

I’ve half a mind to go down there and haunt their dreams.

See, it seems they experienced what humans like to call “hard times.” The one called Chopper, he ran out of work and couldn’t get this thing called “unemployment” because he hadn’t been back in the state long enough, and the Miz D one? Well, she tried to do this thing called “freelancing” and the people who were supposed to hire her flaked off like so much icky, half-dried pouch food.

Miz D, she even came up with a name for what she didn’t want to do: BWB. Blogging While Broke. Sucks, she says. Can’t write about tasty foods, can’t write about cool trips, can’t even start that personal chef thing they want to do ’cause there’s no start-up funds, got to spend spare time searching couch cushions for quarters, mrow, mrow, mrow, you get the picture.

Of course I’m thinking: If I were there, I’D be posting. Just POST already, bipeds.

But noooo. They take a hiatus. Don’t even let the furball post. Not that the furball would have much to say aside from: Hey! House to self! No kitty! Wheee!

Huh. I wonder if she misses me.

What’s that? You want to know how I got here? Ahah. See, I’ve found a very nice medium with a keyboard. Madame Kittikatsky, she calls herself, and she’s managed to sneak access to the Belly Timber Angry Cat Blog account.

(She tells me she has a cunning plan for future postings – a plan may involve the appearance of a new kitten. Mroow. Clever medium. I think I’ll keep her.)

So, here I am with a message from the beyond: Oh humans, my humans? Don’t make me come down there and smack some sense into you. If I can BWD, then you can BWB. Besides, I know things are looking better for you. I can smell it. Fried kippers? Steamed mussels? SALMON?

Excuse me. I’m hungry. I have a mouse to catch.

(And now, for your viewing pleasure, My final photo shoot: Angry Cat + Back Scratcher = Happy Cat.)

(Check out lots more Weekend Cat Blogging at What Did You Eat?)

This entry was posted on Sunday, May 13th, 2007 at 12:03 pm and is filed under obligatory cats. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.