14. Hey, Little Sister

Oh, Billy, Billy, Billy, don’t ever change.

Those other Idols, they’re just idle. They’ve got nothing on you. You don’t have to warble, sing five notes when you only need one, strain yourself with inappropriate covers of Celine Dion doing inappropriate covers of some other singer we’ve all only heard at one a.m., karaoke night, when no one’s paying attention and the KJ’s desperate.

Billy, you’re still the bomb. My main ’80s man. Well, except for those other guys, but we don’t have to talk about them. They never learned to work the camera like you, all flirt and sneer wrapped up in one.

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