(Since we, the notoriously last minute, broke our record for tardiness during Dine & Dish #3 and posted a full two weeks late, for Dine & Dish #4 we offer up this Three Act Drama as an apology, and plead forgiveness for any past transgressions. As for our current transgressions, let us just say that we kid because we love. Honest, we do… Sorry, Rachael. We couldn’t help ourselves.)
$40 A DAY
the San Juan Island edition:
A drama in three acts
ACT ONE

EXT. FARMER’S MARKET – DAY
MRS D. strolls down the main aisle. She has the look of someone on a serious java jive. CHOPPER DAVE follows, visibly perplexed.
MRS. D
We’re here on beautiful San Juan Island in northern Washington on the far northwest corner of the United States
CHOPPER
Who are you talking to?
MRS. D
(ignoring Chopper)
And we’re here to see if we can get by on just 40 a day! San Juan County has the second largest percentage of land dedicated to farming in all of western Washington, so what better way to start off the day than with a trip to the local farmer’s market! Mmm, just look at all these yummy vegetables!
CHOPPER
Wow. This perky thing is creeping me out. Oh, and that’s contiguous United States. You’re forgetting Alaska.
MRS. D
Contiguous. That’s a big word. Anyway, one thing I just love about farmer’s markets is the baked goods. When you see a stand with someone offering cinnamon rolls or banana bread or scones, you know it’s going to be home made and fresh baked just that morning. I have a busy day ahead of me, sight-seeing on the island, so I’ve decided to start things off with a light breakfast of Lavender lemonade from the
Pelindaba Lavender Farm stand, and a piece of delicious coffee cake from two wonderful women at the stand next door. Oh and look! Neither stand left out a tip jar. Score!

CHOPPER
Uh, the assignment was “be Rachael Ray for a day”, not “become Rachael Ray for a day.”
MRS. D
Mmmmm, the lavender lemonade is so refreshing — they infuse regular lemonade with lavender and — yum! — I never knew a flower could taste this good. And the coffee cake. Wow, so moist and rich.
CHOPPER
(to passers-by)
I don’t know this woman. Really. I don’t.
MRS. D
The lavender lemonade only set me back a buck fifty, and the coffee cake, just three dollars for this great big piece. That’s just $4.50 for breakfast, which leaves me with $35.50 for the rest of the day!
CHOPPER
You’ll be back to your normal self tomorrow, right? Please?
MRS. D
Whatever do you mean, honeybun?
(Obvious tip #1: Buying your meal at a farmer’s market or outdoor stand saves you even more money because farm vendors hardly ever bother to calculate meal tax!)
ACT TWO

EXT. DOWNTOWN FRIDAY HARBOR – DAY
Mrs. D strolls past galleries, even perkier than before. Chopper follows, lurking in doorways, always at least ten feet away.
MRS. D
After the farmer’s market, I took a little walk around town and checked out all the cute little shops and art galleries. The San Juan Islands have a thriving artist community and I wasted no time finding the perfect gift to remind me of my trip here.
CHOPPER
Hello? You live here!
MRS. D
And, look! They even have a whale museum!
CHOPPER
They have a whale museum, I have a headache.
MRS. D
Now that I’m done visiting every single art gallery in town, I’ve worked up quite an appetite for lunch.
CHOPPER
Wait a sec. Aren’t these parts supposed to be voice-overs?
MRS. D
Shush! I want something inexpensive but filling, and I’m certain I’ll find it within just a few blocks.
Many of the best restaurants here open for lunch with smaller versions of their high-end dinner dishes, and while a lot of these places look great, most of them are just beyond my price range, and I want to stay in my budget and leave plenty of room for dinner. So, how do I find a perfect place for lunch on my budget? Ask the locals, of course!
CHOPPER
You ARE local! Duh!
CUT TO:
INT. ART GALLERY — DAY
A totally staged conversation
MRS. D
Hey, I’m looking for a great place for lunch. Nothing too expensive, but something where I can get a nice big plate of food.
GALLERY CLERK
Well, when I’m hungry and I want to go somewhere where I can get something other than a sandwich or a burger, I go get a nice big plate of Pad Thai at Golden Triangle.
MRS. D
Oooh, Golden Triangle, where’s that?
GALLERY CLERK
It’s just down the street and around the corner, on the way to the ferry line!
CUT TO:

EXT. GOLDEN TRIANGLE – DAY
Mrs. D pulls up a seat at an outdoor table. Chopper sighs heavily, sets two mugs of beer on the table and joins her.
MRS. D
(even perkier than before)
Pad Thai sounds just about perfect, so my lunch quest is at an end!
CHOPPER
Quest? What is the matter with you?
MRS. D
(sing-songy voice with hands over ears)
Not listening. La-la-la-la-la-la-la!
Chopper buries his head in his hands.
MRS. D
Turns out that Golden triangle is owned and operated by the same wonderful chef who runs the Thai Kitchen just a few blocks away next to the whale museum. I’ve heard she’s got a great reputation, so I know I’m in for a treat. And at just $5.95, I can splurge and spend extra on a spring roll and a mug of Singha beer!

CHOPPER
The beer is my idea. It’s necessary.
MRS. D
(excruciatingly perky)
Yum, the spring roll is so delicate. It’s got just the right mix of lettuce, chicken, and rice noodles, and it’s wrapped and lightly fried in a rice wrapper, not the usual spring roll wrapper. And the dipping sauce is perfection. With that and the huge plate of Pad Thai and the beer, I am stuffed, and this meal with tax and tip only set me back $14.92. That leaves a whole $20.58 for dinner! Bea-utiful! I bet I can find something great at that price and check out the local entertainment!
(Mrs. D points across the street)
Hey! Look! It’s karaoke night at Herb’s!
CHOPPER
Oh no. Do NOT go there.
(Obvious Tip #2: Don’t eat at expensive places if you’re on a budget!)
ACT THREE

EXT. MADRONA BAR AND GRILL – ROCHE HARBOR – DAY
Chopper is at the bar. He’s on his fourth pint.
CHOPPER
Will this day ever end?
MRS. D
(yes, she’s still perky)
Now, Friday Harbor is not the only town on the island. On the North side there’s Roche Harbor, a cute little resort town that was once home to the Tacoma and Roche Harbor Lime Company and the richest lime deposits in the Northwest. Here, you can enjoy a walk in the formal gardens, or a stay at the beautiful 22 room Hotel de Haro which was built in 1886 around a Hudson’s Bay Company Trading Post.
Roche Harbor has three restaurants – the limekiln cafe, a great place for a quick outdoor lunch on the docks, the Madrona Grill — a second outdoor cafe, but attached to the bar and open into the evening, and McMillan’s the high end dining establishment just upstairs from the Grill. Now I knew my budget couldn’t handle a trip to McMillan’s, but what about the bar and grill? Would coming to this resort town be my undoing?
Lucky for me, the menu looked perfectly reasonable. I had to wait a bit for an outdoor table, but it gave me a chance to splurge a second time for the day and order a cocktail.

Despite my fabulous lunch of Pad Thai and spring rolls, I’d worked up another appetite and was looking for something thick and meaty.
Mrs. D flags a server.
MRS. D
(so perky it hurts)
I’m looking for something thick and meaty!
Chopper chokes on a mouthful of beer.
The server points to an item on the menu.
MRS. D
Cherrywood Smoked Kobe Beef Brisket Sandwich! Wow! Now this I have to have! The brisket is smoked for 12 hours, and then they put it in a grilled bun with pickled red onions, they’re own custom Cole slaw, and barbecue sauce. Let’s go visit the chef and learn how it’s done!
Mrs. D jumps up from the table and takes a step toward the kitchen.
CHOPPER
Whoa. Hang on there. Sit. Drink your drink.
MRS. D
But, I have to go see–
Chopper sits Mrs D back down at the table.
CHOPPER
Now, listen very carefully. You are not a Food Network Star. You do not have a Food Network show.
MRS. D
(as her perky smile becomes a pout)
But– But– I want to be like Rachael Ray every day and in every way!
CHOPPER
No. I’m ordering you a drink. It’s just not going to happen.
MRS. D
It’s not?
CHOPPER
No. First off, the perky thing is so not you.
MRS. D.
It’s not?
CHOPPER
It’s not.
MRS. D
I’m– I’m a naturally un-perky, cranky person, aren’t I?
CHOPPER
Yes. Yes you are.
MRS. D
And as such, I probably shouldn’t ever try to be a perky Food Network Star, should I?
CHOPPER
No. No you should not.
MRS. D
(blubbering)
So, I should just order and eat this amazingly tasty sandwich and not wax orgasmic about how tender the brisket is, or how the toasted bun adds the perfect texture, or how the Cole slaw and pickled onions are so tangy and sweet and– and– how the whole thing only cost me $10.95, and that plus drink and tax and tip only comes to eighteen dollars and sixty cents so the total for the day is just $38.02 and how I stayed within my budget just like Rachael Ray-ay-ay-ay-ay-aaaaaay?
Mrs. D bursts into tears.

CHOPPER
There, there. It’s not the end of the world, not being a Food Network Star.
MRS. D
(sulking)
But– But– I was going to put on my gingham and denim mini skirt ensemble when we got home.
Chopper lowers his shades for a moment and raises an eyebrow. He flags the waiter.
CHOPPER
Excuse me? Could we get something chocolate off the desert menu… To go, please?
–Fin–

San Juan Farmer’s Market
10 a.m. to 1 p.m.
Saturdays at the County Courthouse parking lot on Second Street in Friday Harbor.
Open May to mid-October weather permitting.
Golden Triangle
Spring St & 1st St
Madrona Bar & Grill,
Roche Harbor
2005 Hours:
May 1 thru May 19 open 4 p.m. to 10 p.m.
May 20 thru Sept 5 open 11 a.m. to 12 midnight.